What is desire discrepancy and how does it work?

 

Sexual Desire Discrepancy occurs when one partner of a couple experiences more or less sexual desire as compared to their partner. According to some latest research, it is shown that up to 80% of couples regularly experience situations where one partner is willing to have sex while the other doesn’t. (Based on the research by Joel, Day, Muise & Impett, 2015).  

 

According to many acclaimed sex therapists, such desire discrepancies are very common among couples. Such a common sexual problem is considered more distressing because of its dampening effect on the romantic relationship.  

 

Such differences in libido (desires) within a sexual relationship are bound to happen at some point. Such scenarios are even more likely to happen during the lockdown of a global pandemic. These differences are usually known as desire discrepancy. It can be a huge source of tension between partners. There are several factors responsible for desire discrepancy marriage. 

 

There are multiple factors that influence our libido, due to which it can fluctuate ever so frequently. Specifically, at the time when everyone’s stress is heightened, libidos fluctuate with it. Let’s have a look at the factors responsible for desire discrepancy. These are as follows: 

 

Hormones/ Biology

There are various reasons responsible for hormonal fluctuation within the body such as menstrual cycle, aging, stress, and much more. Having a good understanding of how and when your hormones fluctuate will give you a better understanding of the libido. Talk to your medical provider if you want to know more about the hormonal shift going on in your body.

 

Stress

Stress plays a vital role in affecting your body and fluctuating your desire discrepancy. It both physically and mentally influences your desire to have sex. Physically, your hormone production changes when you are under stress including increased cortisol, which results in decreasing the libido. Mentally, when your brain is occupied, you can’t mindfully enjoy sexual pleasures as much and it can even deprive you of orgasming.

 

Medication

There are certain kinds of medication that can suppress libido as a side effect. Antidepressants are majorly responsible for desire discrepancy. It can significantly hinder your enjoyment of life.

 

Trauma

Sexual trauma can impact your libido like nothing else. Everyone perceives trauma differently. Some people get an increased sexual desire whereas others have nothing to do with sex.

 

Relationship With Our Bodies

The modern world of social media has had a negative impact on maintaining healthy relationships with their own bodies. Most people struggle with loving their own bodies. During the pandemic, people started stress eating to such an extent that their bodies got out of shape, and it also affected their sexual interests. It is basic human psychology that when you feel unattractive and uncomfortable in your skin it is less likely that you would want to expose yourself.     

 

Here are some strategies to increase sexual desires and romanticism within you and your partner:

Schedule Sex

In order to have a healthy relationship with your partner, sex plays a vital role. The romanticized sex scenes involve passion and heat. However, it does not mean that planned sex is any less passionate. Making a sex schedule lets you and your partner enjoy sex on a regular basis and keeps the spark alive. Even if it’s not sex, you can still agree on other pleasurable activities to enjoy, such as kissing, cuddling among others.

 

Determine the Root Issue

 It is essential to determine the root cause of the issues. Try to resolve the problem of lacking libido. If it’s stress, consider working with a psychotherapist in order to develop coping strategies and other stronger self-care habits. If you are unhappy with your body image, then do some body-positive activities and join some support groups to adopt self-care habits. 

 

Sex Therapist

From centuries ago, there has been a stigma associated with sex. In every culture and religion, sex is considered taboo and mustn’t be talked about in public. But this topic can pose some serious issues within the relationship of a couple. A sex therapist can help resolve such sex-related concerns within a couple. If you feel like you need a facilitator to help you out, go for it. Investing in the wellness of your happiness is always a rational decision.

 

Final Words!

Desire discrepancy is common among couples, but if it is dealt with rightly, then it can be resolved easily. We provide adequate education about sex and other couple-related problems. Feel free to contact us now!